At the end of each month, I like to do some reflections on how that month went. I like reflecting on any themes I noticed, happy and not-so-happy moments, and things I can work on for the following month.
The theme noted for the month of August was: extreme stress. I had my move-out from my apartment, financial issues, and the fear of homelessness! (I’m exaggerating, I knew it would never come down to that… but just giving you an idea of where my head was at.)
So just to give you a little life background on my situation, my boyfriend and I had been living together for 4 years in Orlando, FL where I worked as a part-timer making $10/hour and he was working as a freelance graphic designer. Now, if you know anything about the life of a freelance artist, you know that a steady income is not something to count on. I absolutely loved my job for many reasons; the work environment, the people, the culture, and the actual services we provide to the community. I literally had all I could ever want at that job… except enough money. Yes, I could’ve easily found another job that would’ve paid me more, and not live paycheck to paycheck, but I’m a firm believer that when you do what you love the money will come. However, unfortunately, when you work for a federally funded grant there is a very limited amount of money that can come. Alex is now a recently graduated graphic designer. To sum it up, we were pretty broke and in this weird place of not knowing whether we would be able to afford to continue to live in Orlando; the place where I’ve thrived and finally found my peace. Or if we would have to bring ourselves to moving back home to Miami with our families ¬ꟷ which for me, was not my top choice. With our move-out day coming quick and us still not having the money or a decision made, our only option was to couch hop with some of our friends, separately.
I’m a person that describes myself as having some intense anxiety so you can imagine how triggered someone with anxiety might feel when something like moving out with no direction, no money, what felt like no other options, and now no continuous support from your partner because they are away from you. I was a wreck, I was constantly crying and literally not able to sleep because of all the “what-ifs” both the rational and irrational ones. After enough times of my boyfriend telling me I need to relax because it’s not only affecting my mental health, but our relationship, I did just that. Here are the 3 things that helped me shift my perspective on my stressful situation and allow me to actually relax.
Trust the universe and go with the flow
Yep. That’s right, the ole “trust the process” “go with the flow” cliché. I decided to just completely let go of all the stress, worry, anxiety, and nerves that I was feeling and just say fuck it. Now that’s not to say that I dropped the issue and never thought about it again, no ma’am. I simply just remembered how every time something inconvenient has happened in my life, some way or another it got figured out. It always gets figured out. Trust me. Have you ever noticed how the more you want something to happen, the less it happens but then the moment you stop thinking about it or forget, it comes to you? That’s called letting go, and letting the universe do its thang.
Stay present and in the now
If you’re someone with any type of anxiety, you would know that the common theme is this weird fear of the future and not knowing what your next move is and how it may or may not actually affect your life. Being in an anxious state is like a domino effect going on with your thoughts; one bad thought leads to another that could be worse. At least that’s what my anxiety looks like, anyway. After I decided to let go, that didn’t just mean letting go of the situation and hoping for the best; it meant really letting go of all these fears I had that came with the situation. The fear of what my life would look like whether I stayed in Orlando or left back to Miami, or about how I would make more money, or whether I would have to quit my job or not. I decided to just focus on where I was now. I focused on what my current situation was, what my money situation was looking like and how I can work with my life at that very moment. Clearly freaking out every day was getting me nowhere, so sometimes the best thing to do is just let go and focus on the now.
Gratitude for all the things
I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard enough personal development podcasts that talk about the importance of gratitude and how it’s a game-changer to believe in. I personally try to practice it as much as I can through gratitude lists and sending random messages to friends or family. The amount of power this one little practice has when you’re in a situation like mine is pretty crazy. With being present, comes the gratitude. Gratitude for the small moments that you couldn’t think of in your anxious state and gratitude for the people that are in your space. (If you haven’t already noticed, these three factors are all connected.) Our closest friends and even some that weren’t as close seemed to know about our situation which meant there were plenty of questions on our next steps, but also plenty of support. I had coworkers advising me on the best websites to check for jobs and housing, family to constantly reassure me that we had a place back home if all else failed, and plenty of friends offering a temporary place to stay. With all the support we found all around us, the least we could’ve done is remind ourselves of how grateful we are to even have people like this in our lives. When I needed these people the most, they came through. I was grateful for all that we had at that moment and all that I knew we would still have regardless of where we went. Taking a moment to realize that we at least had the certainty of having our necessities like a roof over our head, food, and clothes on our back were the things that completely shifted my perspective on my situation. It made me realize that no matter how crazy I was driving myself throughout that month, that at the end of the day I had a lot to be grateful for.
So, the next time your anxiety wants to get the best of you and it seems like what you’re going through is one of those “end of the world” problems, please remember it all works out. It will always work out, so your best bet is to just keep calm and move on.
