Since last summer, my life feels like it is in a completely different ‘place.’
Nope, I haven’t moved or even been out much.
I’ve been fervently adjusting my self-talk and practicing what my teacher calls, ‘radical self-compassion’. But like, really practicing it. Not just saying I’ll be nicer to myself, but actually doing it in real-time when something comes up that upsets me or doesn’t feel good.
I’ve learned to speak to myself as I would a good friend or a fragile child (because inside, we all are). It’s been a game-changer for what is coming into my experience and for breaking deeply entrenched patterns of self-criticism that I know have kept me stuck and stagnant for years.
It’s one thing to say we will be nicer to ourselves; it’s quite a different feat to do it.
The other practice has been cleaning up my vibration and what Abraham-Hicks calls, my “point of attraction.”
This practice has been complemented by my new self-talk. We cannot shift our vibration if we are internally chastising ourselves every five minutes.
Even after years of spiritual study, I realized I was still offering a very low vibration about certain aspects of my life and it was apparent in what had been showing up and sticking around. After all those years of study and intellectual understanding, something finally clicked. I finally “got it.” The lightbulb has turned on above my head (thank God!).
It’s also been the hardest work I’ve ever done in my life. No relationship is more challenging than the one we have with ourselves, for through that relationship, we ‘see’ and experience all others.
I was born in the late 70s in the Silicon Valley in California. If you know anything about computers, you know about Silicon Valley. If I had to choose a word or phrase for this area of the country, I would choose the phrase, ‘hard work.’ And it was drilled into me from a young age.
My upbringing and environment lead to the belief that the only way to get something, especially something I really, really wanted, was to ‘work hard’ for it.
This belief system lead me to practice a vibration – and a belief – that unless I ‘worked hard’ for something, it wouldn’t come to me and it also wouldn’t stick around. I couldn’t rely on anything that didn’t have me stressed, controlling, or deeply suffering to get it.
I’ve always been a hard worker and highly responsible. It’s the first thing people notice and comment on when working with me. I take a lot of pride in doing a good job, whatever is it.
But practicing that vibration, year after year, and believing that things only manifested from this idea of ‘hard work’ (which can mean a lot of things) kept me imprisoned. I always wanted to do a good job, but I didn’t want to suffer at the hands of perfectionism just to make a buck.
I wanted to truly practice relaxing and trusting the process without doing anything to move things along, except taking divinely guided action that felt good. I wanted to throw my old conditioning overboard and tell that nagging voice in my head that I’ve got this. I’m capable. I can relax and still have good things come into my experience. I’m learning as I go and that is acceptable and completely okay. I am adequate for all situations and circumstances.
I no longer had to push, force, or control every detail. I could depend on the intelligence of the Universe to bring me what I wanted and needed in a calm and surrendered manner.
Here’s what happened when I truly changed my behavior, habits, self-talk, and conscious vibration:
Money started coming in from all different directions and from channels I had not focused on before. It was so fun to watch it manifest.
My writing started soaring and getting more recognition. I got a new editor at a site I regularly write for (by total chance, but not really!) and my pieces started receiving Editor’s Picks again. My views shot up by the thousands and I continuously win the weekly contest on that site.
My relationships started improving and thriving. I found my voice with certain people and allowed myself to be loved and comforted more than I ever have before. People began expressing their feelings for me more consistently, some to my very deep surprise (and delight!).
My new business venture is being created very rapidly as I step back and allow the process to occur organically. I receive support and help from so many people that it blows my mind!
Our lives are only as good as we allow them to be.
I’ve been teaching, studying, and practicing these concepts for years, but until recently, I wasn’t truly giving over control. I was still micro-managing and arguing with the Universe about the way certain things should go.
Not anymore! I see the perfection of the way things work out when I step back and shut my mouth. I observe how all details fall into place when I take divinely guided action that feels good in my body (versus actions that feel stressful, controlling, and out of sorts). I experience more synchronicities, miracles, “good luck,” support, help, guidance, and ways of doing things when I trust and believe in the vibration I am offering.
The Law of Attraction has become the new spiritual buzzword, but it’s real. Just like the laws of the land, the laws of the Universe affect everyone, whether they are aware of them or not.
When we decide that our life deserves to be better (because everything we have and are up to this point was also manifested because of our vibration), it gets better.
We’ve changed the way we show up for ourselves and in the world, which then affects and shifts everything else: thoughts, actions, decision-making, who we hang out with, what words we speak and how we say them, what we choose to give our attention to, and how we treat ourselves.
We must take the action of deciding our lives deserve to feel better and then support that action with what we choose to do, focus on, and offer.
It’s one thing to say we will do something and another thing entirely to do the thing.
As Jeff Olson explains in The Slight Edge (which I highly recommend), everything we do in our lives starts to compound and create the life we see before us presently. Our habits (which include the vibration we are offering) are what build our lives.
When we clean up the habits that don’t feel good, we make a momentous shift in what is compounding, building, and gaining momentum. We take our power back. We look for what’s working and what we can shift to work better for us.
We become the master of our fate because we understand how the laws of the Universe operate and we decide to play along.
We get rid of conditioning that tells us we must work hard, be vigilant, and be cautious.
We start to listen to our deepest wisdom, which has always been there trying to guide us back home.