lips turn blue
lost breath at the thought
of what might happen
today, tomorrow, ten years from now
i can’t feel my hands
thoughts tear through and tumble over
each other, dragging their muddy feet
through my skull
i can’t feel my feet
every fear i have ever met
is burrowed deep inside my bones
refusing to be evicted
i can’t feel anything
except the heavy, gnawing emptiness
of depression that crawls onto me after
the panic goes back into hiding
and so it goes
and goes
and goes.