Everything I’ve ever needed has always been in my possession
but the space between my rib cage
has been a cluttered, dusty attic
filled to the brim with heavy baggage and painful memories
pulling down the ladder and climbing inside the cavity wasn’t voluntary
it was something I had to do
the longer days and warm air called upon me to move
but like all spring cleaning
it takes time to sort through everything
a constant battle between
resisting the desire to shut the door for another year and climb back down the ladder
or the compulsion to just throw everything out and make peace with what is lost
so you sit with it
you sort through it
you have too much coffee and not enough food
you laugh at the happy memories
and you don’t even go through that box (you just know it belongs in the trash)
in the past
at the bottom
you keep a few things because you think you should
and bit by bit you can see the floorboards where the boxes used to be
you’ve made eight trips to the dumpster, physically moving things out of your life
out of your space
out of your heart
when you’re done, you open up the window
you sit on a box filled with books
you marvel at how warm the sun feels
how fresh the air is
you don’t beat yourself up for having held onto so many things in the first place
but rather
look at what you’ve kept
what has survived
what remains
knowing that in the future
its time may come too
to honor without attachment
and to be patient without expectation
Author: Diana Matthews
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Diana’s unrelenting passion for feminism and the empowerment of women and girls globally is the guiding force behind all she does. Most recently, Diana was the associate producer and distribution director for Dream, Girl, the documentary showcasing the stories of inspiring and ambitious female entrepreneurs. She is also a mentor for GIRLZ, FTW—an international mentoring organization that matches high school and college girls with female leaders. Born and raised in Calgary, Canada, Diana recently moved to New York City and now calls Brooklyn her home. She has a deep love for connecting with others, and strong interests rooted in community development and mentorship.
Link to social media or website: https://www.instagram.com/dianavoyage/
