Real Stories

Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

  1. You’re always compromising. You’re the one compromising but your partner is unwilling. You’re the one giving into them yet they refuse to budge. Unwillingness to compromise isn’t healthy. Relationships are about compromise. One always giving in isn’t good.
  2. They’re controlling. They dictate who you can and can’t talk to, isolate you from loved ones, and tell you what to do. They are constantly snooping through your phone, reading your messages, and control what you can wear. Having to have absolute control is a sign of an abuser. If they truly love you, they wouldn’t want to control you. Leave ASAP.
  3. You can’t talk to them. You can’t talk to them about your feelings because you’re afraid. Whether you’re afraid to talk about your feelings due to fear of causing problems or afraid of a negative reaction, you should be able to talk to them regardless. Not being able to communicate will lead to bigger problems. Communication is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. After all, you can’t build a house on quicksand and expect it to last.
  4. They neglect your needs. This can be physical or emotional. If they don’t make you a priority, it’s a reflection of how they feel about you and the relationship. If they put you last and refuse to tend to your needs, they truly don’t care about you. In healthy relationships, both parties must tend to each other’s needs so they and the relationship can foster. Lack of nurturing and prioritizing of the significant other can lead to bigger problems down the road.
  5. They’re a mystery. Indeed, this can be exciting in the beginning but not in the long-run. No matter how much they share, they still remain a mystery. It feels as if you really don’t know them. This isn’t good. You should know about your partner especially if you two have been together a long time. If they continue to mystify you, chances are they’re hiding something.
  6. They’re secretive. They dodge questions (especially big ones) and refuse to share information about them, clearly, they’re hiding something. Being secretive leads to distrust and lack of trust leads to a relationship crumbling. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should be able to be open and honest with each other. Never be with someone secretive.
  7. They put you down. This can range from being called “stupid” to something more vulgar. That’s a sign of abuse if they insult, belittle, and deliberately hurt you. They mock you when they try to open up. A partner brings you up; not put you down. Walk away if your partner does this to you. You deserve to be uplifted; not brought down.
  8. There’s no growth. Relationships are about growth and fluidity. You and your partner are supposed to grow as a couple and as individuals. Growth is natural, healthy, and a part of life. It’s not a good sign if a relationship becomes stagnant. People are like flowers: we need the water of life in order to grow. Don’t be with someone who deprives you of growth. If the relationship is healthy, growth will occur.
  9. You change and they don’t. Change can be a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with changing for the better. However, if you’re the one who’s changing but they refuse to, they truly don’t care about you and the relationship. You and your partner should be willing to change for the positive if it helps the relationship.
  10. You bring out the worst in each other. Being in a relationship is supposed to bring out the best in you and your partner. It should motivate both parties to be the best versions of themselves. If you or they enable your bad traits instead of working on them, that’s not healthy.
  11. They’re physically abusive. This is a clear sign of toxicity. They wouldn’t hurt you if they truly love you. Physical abuse leads to long-term damage and eventually, death. Leave immediately!

I hope this article sheds any light on toxic traits in a relationship. I hope this helps you or someone you know. You deserve the best and not anything less!

If you like this article, check out: https://stories.harnessmagazine.com/30-little-but-significant-signs-that-suggest-you-are-beginning-to-heal/

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by M.J. Darling

A writer with a dream. I've been writing since I was a kid. My dream was and still is, to become a published author. Reading and writing are my passions.

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