You didn’t see her worth.
Or perhaps you did and it frightened you.
Because you were envious and knew that you could never give the same back to her.
Ever.
So you had not deserved her kind of love for a long time.
Yet you took it anyway, and had the nerve to complain about everything she gave.
So now you appropriately have what you asked for, and painted on a smile, still longing for her love.
That is your destiny.
To long for her, wonder about her, live without her.