When I had my first boyfriend, I was in eighth grade in 2010, and ever since that relationship I had always loved the idea of being in a relationship. My relationships would normally last longer than a year, and the longest one lasted for four years. I have never really had terrible breakups, and I still get along very well with all my exes. Before, the longest I had been single for was one month and two weeks, but this is now officially the longest I have been single for (five months) and this is all because of what I learnt from evaluating my relationships.
Since I have been spending so much time alone, I have been thinking about all sorts of things in relation to relationships and this one time I actually realised that I have basically never been single because my happiness only ever depended on a guy. Without a guy in my life, I would feel no sense of worth in my life. I realised that I used to think that my purpose in life was to make my partner happy, so when I don’t have a partner, what am I living for? Which is pretty much why I would move on to the next guy in a month after a breakup.
After my last breakup, I was so eager to get a new boyfriend as usual, but I was quite bummed when I realized that I am just not interested in anyone – it’s either they were my friends or just random creeps, so I had no choice but to be single. This actually forced me to depend on my own self for happiness.
It was hard. Sometimes I would tell myself to settle for anyone that comes along because I was just never happy. Nonetheless, I started taking things one day at a time. I wrote down all the activities I love doing, what I would like to try out next, what I love about myself and what makes me laugh. Since then, I would wake up with great enthusiasm to do something that will make me happy and the mere fact that I figured this out and really went for it makes me very happy and proud.
Happiness truly comes from within and it took me that long to learn this. No one in this world knows you better than you know yourself, hence you are the only person who can make you happy to the full extent. Love yourself and accept yourself just the way you are because that is the first step to making yourself happy. You matter, your mental health matters and your happiness matters so guard yourself by all means. I used to never believe that one can be happy all by themselves because my life normally revolved around my partners but ever since I learned such a valuable lesson, I will remain single.
Author: Mbalenhle
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: A young South African blogger
Link to social media or website: https://buddingregardless.com
