I begin to watch the movie while being occupied. At work. At class. In the gym. Just anywhere. I think about leaving my current destination just to lay in bed and playback every disappointing moment that you played a part of in our movie. My heart tears a bit each time I play it. I press pause on the text messages, likes on social media and just trance out only to rewind them.
Play.
Now it is recorded in my memory. Seeing you break what is yours, is like my favorite yet unsatisfying movie. I rewind to the times that were great. Only to fast forward to the now of thinking why can’t you see me as your supermodel. I’m am it. I am the chosen one. The best. The person that defines what you are. Yet you’re so blinded of the lies that were blatantly exposed to you. She is not your destiny. She was the lie of your life while I am the candor. I’m your now and forever and she is the distortion of your past and present.
I begin to feel that you like the old version of your movie than the newer one. The old version was a fairytale…everything was perfect, it was perfect because it wasn’t real. You were bamboozled my dear.
The new version is too real for you…this movie brings you into your manhood, when it is time to lay those boyish fantasies to rest. It’s imperfect but you are wiser than you were when you were in the old version. This is better for you. I am your destiny. When are you going to realize that?
Play.
Now we find ourselves distant, unable to break the cycle of the distrust and deceit that you created. You find a new one that is entertaining. I watch as you destroy your present as well as your future with me. You have jeopardized your family for the attention of what you believe is better than what you have now. Only to be left alone and dissatisfied of your present because of your decisions. Rewind back to the scene where I found panties in your bag, only to discover they do not belong me.
-play
(excerpt from She of the Woods)
