2020 has been a ride, am I right? And it’s only been half of the year. So many wonderful milestones and occasions were supposed to happen for many this year, including myself. This year was supposed to be the best year of my life. I’ve spent most of my 20’s navigating online dating and trying to find “the one,” and I was able to find him and get him to propose to me. I have been engaged for 3 years now and we were supposed to get married in April 2020.
2020 was supposed to be the best year yet, or so I thought. We were a month away from the wedding when we found out we had to be quarantined and what would have been the best moment of my life quickly changed into the saddest day of my life. I’m not at all saying that my huge life event trumps a pandemic, but for most women, we’ve felt like we’ve planned for this day our whole lives and suddenly it gets taken away from you so quickly. Not to mention, I have rescheduled/postponed so many times that I feel like I’m apart of this venue’s family.
In April, we had to postpone for the 2nd time and in mid-July, we had to postpone for the 3rd time. I kept thinking 3rd times the charm, right? Maybe the 4th time will stick this time around! Every time we’ve postponed, I get a lot of questions from friends and family asking how am I staying positive with all these changes, or people will tell me that they feel so bad for us and our day will eventually come. The best is when I have people compliment me on having such a positive attitude and outlook during this time.
My question is, how can you not be positive or have a positive outlook? Unfortunately, the world is suffering right now, and so many people are being affected tremendously by losing their jobs, homes, and loved ones. When each state had to start limiting gatherings, I know we had to postpone and that did really kill me inside. I had this thought for a while that maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I remember turning on the news, and really realizing that my one life event did not compare to what was happening to others. People are hurting, someone out there has lost a loved one, and someone is fighting to survive this terrible virus. So, why would I feel so sad about not having this extravagant wedding when someone right now is fighting for their life?
So much is unknown right now, but what I do know is that one day we can look back at this and see this as a terrible part of history and know that we came out of this tragic event on the other side. So when someone tells me they admire my attitude, I ask, “How can you not have a positive attitude?” Every day is a blessing, every day is a day to feel grateful, and every day is a day to be alive and present.
When I wake up in the morning, I remember to take a few minutes to listen out my window to the birds chirping and take in how grateful I am to have a job, a supportive and loving family, an amazing fiancé, and most importantly being healthy and living another day. It’s so important to never lose sight of the positives in life or you can easily go down a spiral of negativity. The truth of the matter is this is what the world is now, and there could be worse things happening in my life and thankfully we are all safe. This pandemic has taken so many lives that is so easy to lose sight of what is still good in life.
It is so easy to get stuck in the worries of the unknown and really succumb to the fear of everything happening in the world right now. Being able to take a step back has provided me a new appreciation for life. Being able to journal my thoughts and feelings; leaving the negativity in my journal and breathing a renewed sense of happiness has really humbled me and made me appreciate life even more. Every day I celebrate life and happiness; just because something doesn’t go my way doesn’t mean I have to be sad about it. When life gives you lemons make lemonade!
I may not have my dream wedding now, but I know that love never dies and one day I will be able to celebrate with those I love.
