I’ve been musing over names lately. Or really the act of “naming”. Naming is something we all do. Naming allows us to categorize things, grouping similar items together. How they look. What they do. The danger in naming something is that more is revealed about us, the namer, than the person or thing we are naming. Though simply because there is danger this should not stop us from naming things. We are all called to be co-creators. Creation, the birth of something new, has always involved risk. The danger is that we don’t see things as they are, we see things as how we are. When we call something by name, the relationship we have with it is revealed. Everything we create reveals who we are.
For example, my siblings call me Ka. My older sister gave me that nickname before I could speak and all my younger siblings followed suit. Now Ka isn’t my favorite nickname. I would never introduce myself to someone as ‘Ka’. But when one of my siblings calls me ‘Ka’ I respond. Because my relationship with the namer is more important than the name. My relationship with my siblings informs me that the name comes from someone whom I love and more importantly someone who loves me.
My parents/grandparents call me Katherine, coming from anyone else would give me a sense of detachment from the speaker. Because Katherine is my legal name. Anyone can call me Katherine and I would respond. But the depth of my response would be limited. But if it’s the voice of one of my parents/grandparents/someone I know, my response changes. Because our relationship defines my response more than the name I’m being called.
Our relationships are the most important we have. Humans are designed for relationships and we find our greatest fulfillment with intimacy. People are designed for community and we want to be team players. No one wants to feel used or alone, we all long to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. I love getting to work alongside women who see other women not as a threat or competition but as team members. As a sex, I think the greatest lie women have ever believed is that we are not enough. Because if I act from a place where I believing I’m not enough, that means I need more. I need to do more. I need to take on more. I need to protect myself.
When I act from a place where women aren’t my competition, they’re my teammates, everything changes. I can learn something new. I can teach someone something new. I don’t need to protect myself because I/who I am/my story isn’t a threat to anyone. I am at rest because who I am is not everything, but it is enough. I’m clear and direct in my communication and I inspire others to do the same. I choose neither fight nor flight as my response but love. Love inspires. And when love is the driving force everything moves towards intimacy; everything is informed by empathy; everything we create brings life.
May you be driven by love in all you do and say.
May you have the courage to be direct with your communication.
May you find
and be known,
by love deeper than yet experienced
And more wonderful than ever imagined.
If you like this article, check out: https://stories.harnessmagazine.com/fear-makes-us-fail-right/
