My Spinning Soul
In the past 2 years I have: lost a close family member, quit my job in LA, moved across the country (back to Ohio, where I’m from), found a new job, got a tattoo, ran a ½ Marathon, bought my first house, rode 100 miles on a bike, and written my first blog post (that you are reading RIGHT NOW).
HAVE I MENTIONED I JUST TURNED 29 LAST MONTH?!
Sounds like I have I have it all together and should be singing life praises all day every day, right? Well, not so much. Let me explain…
When I try to describe how I feel to close family and friends, it’s hard to do. Am I unhappy? No. Am I lost? Maybe. Am I sad? No. Am I lonely? No. The best way I can describe it is from a movie scene where the character is standing in Times Square and everything is spinning around her, as if she is in slow motion but everyone else is moving fast.
Enter: MY SPINNING SOUL.
Hopefully—if Harness keeps me as a regular contributor; you’ll find my posts broken into difference categories:
- Soul Spinning— those moments that feel a little out of my control. They’re not good, they’re not bad, it’s when I find myself in Times Square with the world swirling around me.
- Soul Shining—when you feel like you are exactly where you should be right then and there
- And Soul Sucking—I hate to focus on the bad, but damnit, we all have those moments. And well, sometimes they just need to be put out there. AMIRITE?
Now I’d like to explain how this SS (spinning soul) concept came about. About a year ago I attended my first SoulCycle class after hearing a handful of friends rave about it. I was visiting Chicago and a friend wanted to go on a Saturday morning, so I happily obliged. I very much enjoyed it, but it wasn’t until I went to a class in San Francisco that I FELL. IN. LOVE.
Let me preface that last statement by saying this: I was a competitive swimmer for 13 years, but I don’t particularly enjoy working out. Do I like running? Sure. Do I like the occasional yoga class? Yes. But do I question everything I am currently doing and ever have done with my life when I’m in a SoulCycle class? Absolutely. The way I describe it to my friends who haven’t been is that it’s like hearing your favorite song come on a restaurant, or the first snowfall of the year. It’s like time stops and I’m totally honed in on how I feel, no distractions, no reservations—just pure bliss. It feeds my soul.
I left that second class feeling like I had a completely new outlook on things. I wanted to attend class after class after class to get every bit of high I could. Sadly, we don’t have SoulCycle here in Ohio—a girl can dream, right?? So I did my best to make a mental note of how amazing I felt that day, and made a commitment to myself to attend a class anytime I was near one. I’ve since been to 6 different studios. I joke that I need a SoulCycle passport, and I want a stamp for every new studio I attend.
So, does ‘My Spinning Soul’ directly correlate to SoulCycle? Not necessarily. But it does remind me that I’m not totally lost, and I’m not doing everything wrong, and that I can still feel that sense of belonging and accomplishment; even if I am crying in a dark, sweaty room with 40 strangers.
It’s given me hope that new, and potentially difficult or uncomfortable situations can bring me back to my center. I hope to write a variety of posts: from soul sucking to soul shining, and everything in between. Something tells me I’m not the only woman in her 20s feeling the same way, fingers crossed you’ll follow along.
xx, KFT
Author: Kristin Tracey
Instagram: @nitsirkft
