Relationships are and always will be a mystery to me.
But seriously, does anyone of you ever feel like you’re not suited to be in love, because SAME.
I’ve had many experiences but going through all of them lead me to believe that I am not eligible to play this role of being someone’s partner.
People say, “that’s fine, you haven’t found ‘the one’ yet; you’ll know it when you find them”. but let me tell you one thing, each one of them could have been ‘it’ for me, but they were not. So that sucks. Maybe I’ve blown my chance at love, maybe there is no such thing called true love, and it’s all but a beautiful fantasy.
Still, one thing that surprises me every time is that I can’t help but want to feel this way.
Mostly when people have bad experiences with anything, they back off or be cautious about it, but for me, hell no! I have been waiting to pick up opportunities to feel again. I crave intimacy like a ridiculously loyal dog ready to be betrayed by its owner. It’s human nature, to want to feel love, or to be loved, but does that kind of love exist? For someone to be lucky enough to find a whole package-where you are supported in each and every aspect, emotionally and physically, being in love?
I guess not. It’s starting to fade away, the hope of all the pieces joining together. But the desire, that’s the same as it was, back in the early years.
You must be thinking- dude, get a life.
Believe me, any amount of self-love isn’t going to fix the ruins of hopelessness I have become over time.
I guess all we can do now is hope, wait, and be prepared for it whenever or if ever it comes.
LOVE, that is.
