All my life, I’ve tried to keep my friends close to me all the time by never saying no to them. if they needed me to help them do something mischievous or even illegal, I would giggle when I want to say no, but I would still say yes, no matter how dangerous that deed was.
Growing up, you realize that living to please people isn’t worth it because people keep you around when you are beneficial to them. Not only was I submissive when it came to my friends, but my partners too. Anything they wanted to do, I would be down for it even when I really wasn’t. When people are so used to you agreeing to anything they say, you start to find yourself living your life the way that they want you to. Your daily routines sometimes depend on your peers – you want to avail yourself for them so that they like you.
Constantly agreeing to everything and anything my friends and partners would say made me realise that I had no control over my life, even when I finally get a chance to do my own thing, I would drop it if they called. When they asked, “What are you doing today?” the answer would normally be, “I have nothing planned. Wassup?” and they would go ahead and tell me how my day will go. My life revolved around them.
It took me quite a long time for me to act on this matter; I had noticed it for a long time but still did nothing about it merely because I didn’t want to lose my friends. I also didn’t want to seem uncool. It came to a point where saying yes exhausted me hence I suddenly stopped. I solely planned my days and anyone that called or texted with intentions to change my plans did not succeed. I have lost friends, but not the real ones because only the real know and understand that we are grown adults, everybody has a life to live, we have days when we do not want to interact with people and that’s alright. The moment you learn to say NO to anything that won’t benefit you or make you happy in any way, your genuine friends will become obvious and your life can only get a whole lot better.
Author: Mbalenhle
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: A young South African blogger who promotes self-love and individuality.
Link to social media or website: Instagram @umbalenhle_k
