I’m fine as I keep on saying
When I know for sure that’s a lie
I smile and continue on with that mentality of “Smile! Stay Positive!”
When down inside, this numb feeling of lost and confusion that I can’t still seem to figure out
To know that I still loved you
Even with the shit that you said
Or the actions that were poorly portrayed
When people didn’t even have the time or decency to get to know who you were on the inside and out
When I saw potential in you and that I still see you have potential to this day
As a person who cares
I do hope your life is going well and for you to be successful
I might be doing lit but there’s always obstacles that come into the way
It’s not like I’ve come to the realization that I’m a sexual object regardless of what I’m wearing or how I am
That the only reason why 90% of guys are interested in me is because my body and only want me for sex and move onto some other trick out there
That I’ve been trying to keep myself sane and healthy
To keep myself psyched out of what happened to me on September 20, 2016
And how that horrified me completely and I still get anxiety because of that
When I just want to fall apart
I don’t act like the victim or the always pity person just because
The real reason why I’m saying all of this is because I am in pain
It may not show it on the outside, but in… I still feel like a piece of shit
Don’t ask why I feel that way
Loads of things are consuming me and I end up crying all this pain out
And just when you think all that pain is gone, it’s back here to bite me in the ass as usual
And yet I keep this smile on my face to tell you personally that I’m fine
Author: Denise Kollock
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Denise Kollock is a university student who loves to write poetry and stories. She’s currently studying English, with a concentration in Creative Writing and minoring in Gender & Sexuality Studies. You can check out her two books “Words of Emotion and Experience” and “Words of Words” on Amazon, Ebay, Barnes & Noble, etc.
Link to social media or website: http://www.twitter.com/DeniseKollock
