weed laced laughs, glassy red eyes,
november’s breeze
takes me back to days,
i’ll.
never.
see.
again.
excitement clung to your coat,
like your cologne did.
i wanted to take in as much as i could,
inhale it all in, suffocate in it.
you laughed when i joked,
watched when i smiled.
after a lifetime of invisibility,
what a rush it was, to be seen.
i played with the idea of you and i.
like goddamn a fiddle.
till my fingers were busted.
till they were bruised.
till they were bloody.
it was easier to fantasize.
to play pretend.
hang on to what ifs.
float on what could be.
it was safer.
wasn’t it?
