i.
I thought that you were more worth than you are,
tears shed, upset, felt it in my heart.
Believe me, we are allowed to have feelings online,
a virtual world with its frailties and no apparent explanations,
no commitment necessary, no strings attached,
emptiness, loneliness and questions left unanswered.
ii.
The attraction was strong; there is no denying a connection of kinds,
super handsome and charming, keep pics coming.
I know this online myriad of craziness,
been living it too long and understand its shallowness.
Saw the warning signs chose to ignore them,
“this is fun, I’m excited in fact exhilarated.”
Minds full of virtual fantasies, what to do and how to do it,
wondering, hoping it wouldn’t be disappointing,
Knowing deep in my soul it would come crashing down.
iii.
Commonalities clothing music tastes alike doesn’t get much better,
“Let’s meet and have sex,” no need for formalities.
Happy with this, tired of continual dates,
“come to mine” we will light up this place.
iv.
One and a half hours of intimate liaison, pretty gratifying and amazing,
no questions, no further expectations, hooked and in trouble,
kind of dismayed but can’t stay away and not in control,
starting to love this guy and know it’s forlorn.
v.
“Must meet again,” yes let’s just do it,
can’t stop thinking about short time spent together.
“Yeh of course” knowing I am one,
of a cluster of girls in a queue,
waiting for this guy to submit and surrender.
Not easy when you know you’re in a list and unwanted,
needing, hoping, waiting for a text message,
that will show you that your time is not wasted.
vi.
Meet again briefly it’s better than ever,
shower turned on for me,
that’s a nice touch,
not used to being minded and looked after this much.
vii.
Texts messages later, virtual reality,
nothing sacred nothing impending.
Leave it, will it, hope it will get better,
knowing deep down bound for disaster.
viii.
This virtual world we live in makes it impersonal,
put it to rest, one final text message knowing no answer.
Loneliness, emptiness feeling unloved and rejected,
time to move on and relinquish the memories.
What makes us want more what we know we can’t have?
Is it the thrill of the chase or thoughts of happily ever after?
I thought, I thought and I thought in vain,
Then I thought time to start again,
Offline……
Author: Tara Shortt
Link to social media: Twitter @taramshortt | Instagram @shortttara
