Self Achievement

I: Do It Scared, Babe.

Have you ever felt like your life was stagnant? Like suddenly it’s Sunday night and it hits you that tomorrow begins the same cycle of sleep, work, do something domestic at home or social away from home depending on the day, and then sleep again to start all over. Every week is just a perpetual repetition and before you know it, months or years have gone by. I know I am not the only one who has said to themselves, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s *insert month here* already!”

What I mean by stagnant is that sometimes we’re waiting on something and we get so caught up in life that we don’t realize we’ve put that something on the back burner. It could be an advancement in your current job, a career change altogether, moving to a new city, starting a health journey, starting that business, growing your family, or any multitude of things.

You can be content with your life and still suddenly feel the desire for a change. Or you can be like me, knowing where you want to be or what you want out of life but constantly making excuses. I know this about myself because I do it for a variety of reasons. My parents either get in my head about what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, or my sister wants to know every faucet of every decision I make to dissect it and I suddenly second guess myself, or I have witnessed the struggles my friends have gone through and get discouraged, or I tell myself I’m not ready financially or emotionally.

Most of those reasons ring true, they were and are realties I face.

But the primary reason is that I’ve been scared. Absolutely terrified of the unknown.

I’m done with being embarrassed about feeling scared. I realize now, after more years under my belt, that being scared is normal. It makes us human. The difference is that some people just do things scared.

Recently, I quit my job managing an independent bookstore. It was a dream job! As a bibliophile, there was nothing better than spending my days surrounded by books, ordering hot new releases, broadening my own literary horizons, and meeting people who love reading as much as I do. Every package of books felt like Christmas.

Despite loving the job, I was unhappy in my environment. I’d lived in the same town since middle school and never went away to college. While that was a decision I made to be closer to my family, as the years wore on, I began to feel stagnant. And I found myself in the toxic mentality of beginning to compare my life to others. My friends were settling down, creating families or starting businesses. They were taking gambles with career changes and prospering. They were investing in real estate. They were vacationing with their partners. They were content. They were happy. And while I was happy for them, wanted all those blessings for them, I couldn’t help from thinking that I was behind. But I also felt I couldn’t get ahead in my surroundings. I needed a change.

Since I was in college, my long-term goal had been to move to a city that offered more career and social networking opportunities. This close to being thirty years old, I decided that it was finally time.

I was scared.

Scared of being away from my parents, who I adore.

Scared of needing my family and being miles away.

Scared of starting over finding friends.

Scared of failing at career endeavors.

Scared of dating in a city I’m not entirely familiar with.

Scared of missing out.

I was scared but I was going to do it anyway. I was going to move and start over because the emotion that prevailed was excitement. The moment I made the decision and began the arrangements, a feeling of peace and contentment fell over me. The weight of unhappiness fell off, anxiety settled, fear crept up, but elation enveloped me like a safety blanket. I knew it was the right decision to make.

Now, here I am, living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I still have anxieties but every day I take as a new adventure. I try something new. Go to a different coffee shop. Buy groceries at a different store. Walk my dog at a different nature trail. Walk downtown to sight see and visit different local businesses. Take a different route if I’m going somewhere.

Dating has been an adventure in of itself, but that’s for another time.

Point of my story is: if there is something you want to do, have wanted to do, but have been to scared like me, then do it scared, babe! It’s not too late, either, so don’t go there!

If it’s not harming you or others physically or emotionally, then do it.

If excitement simmers at the surface, then do it.

If you have friends and family encouraging you, then do it.

If you know your idea is solid, then do it.

Because what do you want to remember about your life? That you tried and failed, that you wished you’d taken the risk, or that you did it scared and succeeded?

So do it, babe. Do the thing that terrifies you and one week, one month, or a year from now you could be living your dream.

by Stephanie Tello

My name is Stephanie. I am a writer, an aspiring romance novelist, in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I have a degree in Creative Writing and hope to work in book publishing as a developmental editor. I also love to read! Bibliophiles always welcome.

I am a dog momma to a very handsome Border-Collie and Newfoundland mixed boy by the name of Stanley and I very much treat him like my child.

After being in a near eight-year relationship, I am for the first time in my adult life experiencing what it's like to date in the big city. It's been an adventure! My journey through dating has led me on a path of self-discovery where I am learning so much about who I want to be for myself, to my family and friends, and in society. Between spending time with those I love, entering my career, meeting new people, discovering more parts of the world, and reminding myself to self-care, I'd say at this very moment I'm living my best life.

That being said, I tend to be the momma bear of my friend group - the shoulder to lean on, the listening ear, and the objective observer with words of "wisdom." If there is anyone who needs a laugh, who can relate to similar situations I have found myself in, who suffers from life anxieties, or who just wants to talk about random things along with me, then come hang out!

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