First, try to throw away those mean comments from middle school. Who cares if you’re pale? Embrace it. Who cares if you don’t want long hair? Cut it short again and again, until you do it out of spite. Non-conformity is your specialty. Get comfortable with your height. Get comfortable with your dark, thick eyebrows. Get comfortable with being a human who takes up space and has a right to.
Re-evaluate your entire look. Start fake-baking and wearing hot pink. Get acrylic nails. Desperately try to fill the void in your life by being the textbook “hot girl.” Pierce your navel. Wear tight clothes. It feels good, authentic even.
Gain some weight. Stop tanning. Feel inferior. Embrace that dark-girl thing you got distanced from. Within half a year, you’ll be practically “alternative,” wearing black Bikini Kill tees and chokers, with short, layered almost-black hair and eyeliner to match, winged out. Mosh at a Marilyn Manson concert where someone spills beer on your Doc Martens.
Find some inner peace. Start doing yoga. Get on a health kick that you know isn’t going to last. Spit out your first and, decidedly, last sip of kombucha. Go to the gym…yep, the gym. Buy cropped leggings and a sports bra. Use the treadmill until your knees are injured. Feel like every endevour is doomed, but keep trying to find yourself.
Embrace change. Embrace growing up. Grow your hair out. Dress for yourself. Go to hot yoga. Smile more. Take more selfies. Wear less makeup. In fact, some days, don’t wear any. Wear men’s hoodies with jeans and Vans. Fuck conformity, it’s 9:15am.
Get to the city of your dreams. Realize it’s humid as a sauna, buy shorts and tank tops from Gap. Fall in love with all the lingerie you see on Oxford Street. Fall in love with life on your own. Fall in love with being yourself. Realize that you can wear many hats and pull them all off. Wear a wrapdress and get cat-called by a man who barely speaks English. Wear a Banksy-print sweatshirt on the London Eye and the face you make when your dreams come true. Get sunburnt in England. Get lost, but find yourself. Realize that the biggest obstacles in our way are the ones we put in front of ourselves. Do whatever you feel like you need to do…just keep following your heart.
Author: Chelsea Varela
Email: [email protected]
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Author Bio: Chelsea is a recent graduate from Robert Morris University. She loves coffee, sleeping in and singing along to good music. In her spare time, she likes writing, reading and watching true crime docs on Netflix.
Link to social media or website: https://www.instagram.com/cmv.xcx/
