I used to stare at other women and turn green, when in reality it was admiration behind the jealousy
Other women’s beauty.
I turned to comparison and picking out their flaws meanwhile thinking she has it all.
I try… I try to gain confidence about myself but when I stare at the mirror I stand there wishing I was someone else,
all the while not loving me. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder that it’s me it’s me that I cannot see.
I have my father’s eyes, my mother’s smile. Deep down I’m full of disgust, wishing I was someone else’s child.
So they could love me, and love me deep. Open minded is what they were not. brain opposite of big so that makes them closed minded and petite.
I have my father’s eyes and my mother’s smile
Filled with self hate. I want to be this and that just so they can congratulate…
Me.
All I can see is me. The me that I am not. Me wishing that I was just Like she.
She is fierce
She is magic
She is gold.
She is beauty that is overflowing with warmth, with a heart not turned stone cold.
A walking piece of art a goddess.
That was then.
Now when I see a beautiful women I admire her beauty through love and compliments.
Myself, I have gained that confidence,
I choose to look inward and realize just how beautiful God made me, because I myself am a waking piece of art, a goddess.
I am beauty that is overflowing with warmth, with a heart not turned stone cold.
I am gold.
I am magic.
I am fierce.
All I can see is me. The me that I am not. But no longer am I wishing that I was just like she.
How can I not love myself and admire my own inner and outer beauty?
When there is only one me.
