What is love? I think this is a question everyone should ask themselves, and maybe the person they’re thinking of being with before engaging in a relationship with another person. Because a lot of people seem to think love is a mere emotion, but it is a lot more than that. It is the things you say, and the things you do for another person, it is a way of life.
My ex claimed to love me, but when the dust cleared and settled he admitted that he didn’t love me. It was just lust, and he ended up cheating on me without having the guts to tell me the truth. Broke up with me to “protect” me. All right, then.
If you have no intention of keeping your promises, if you heart is merely starving for a connection then maybe you should stay away from relationships because all you’re going to do is hurt someone who you have no business in harming, in the first place.
One shouldn’t enter a relationship lightly. You should only enter one if you’re willing to be committed to another person. So if you have commitment issues and are just looking for a good time then you need to be upfront and honest from the beginning. Don’t make promises to someone that you don’t intend on keeping like marriage and kids. I would rather have known the truth, from the beginning, so I would’ve known this is a relationship that wouldn’t have been for me.
Because once I commit to someone I go all in.
I doted on him and spoiled him with little gifts and notes quite frequently. I saved up money and bought Christmas gifts here and there throughout the year so I could spoil him at Christmas. I washed his laundry, cleaned his room, and cooked him food.
I was a virgin when I first met him, but he took that from me, too. I was just another conquest. Another girl he thought he could conquer.
All these years later it still stings that he married the woman he cheated on me with because for the longest time I asked myself: what’s wrong with me? What made him choose her and not me? Why wasn’t I good enough?
In the end, this relationship, as painful and destructive as it were taught me a few things. It forced me to fall in love with myself, and make me see that I have a worth and a magic all my own. I do have beauty even if and when others fail to or refuse to recognize it. It also taught me not to paint others how you want to see them. When people show you their true colors then listen to them. They’re being honest about who they are. It also taught me that if someone seems too good to be true, they are. Sometimes fallen angels are the best at pretending they’re not devils.
It also taught me not to lose yourself or compromise your values for anyone else because in the end all you have is you. You are the only person that you’ll forever live with in your body. So it is important that you treat yourself right, and surround yourself with loving relationships and friendships that honor you and respect you. It is important that you don’t let people disrespect and disintegrate you and your core values.
You are worthy and you are enough, and the right people will see that. Don’t be afraid to lose the wrong ones.
