We associate certain kinds of music, scents, flowers, animals, colors or images with different stages of our life. One song that has an extra personal meaning to me because of a very terrible incident that happened a few years after I graduated from high school. Let me explain the story.
The song is a very popular song by the rock group Styx: “Come Sail Away.” The beginning of the song is slow then gradually gets a tempo and a fast beat. The slow part really gets me, especially the verse:
I remember high school friends and me
With our dreams
I start to cry when I hear this verse as well as the beginning of the song with just the music before Dennis DeYoung starts singing. It is a wonderful song, after all it stayed on the charts for a whopping two years and initially sold over three million copies. I have been a huge fan of Styx since 1980 when their “Paradise Theatre” album was released. There is a song on that album that also gets me a little teary eyed: The “Best Of Times.” Another fantastic song they wrote.
Why do these songs get me crying? I lost one of my closest friends from high school. Now, before this, the only death I had experienced was when I lost both my paternal grandmother and grandfather. The man I knew as grandfather was actually my grandmother’s second husband. I never knew my actual grandfather as he passed away before I was born or right after I was born. That was hard enough because I lost my grandfather during seventh grade and my grandmother just before Thanksgiving in the eighth grade. It was no more than a year and a half in between losing grandpa and then grandma.
It happened on November 14, 1992 on I-70 in Ohio not far from Springfield. Her name was Jenny Cooper and she was only 18 years old. Yes, 18. On top of that, she was one of about six close friends that I hung out with the most in high school. Jenny was on her way to North Carolina to buy a car along with her boyfriend, who was in the passenger seat. Her boyfriend did not sustain ANY injuries and I can honestly say I was very upset about that. The highway they were on was icy, which the Ohio State Patrol said contributed to the crash.
Jenny was attempting to pull alongside the road to switch drivers so her boyfriend could drive. I went to Jenny’s showing with one of my other close friends, Kerry, as I was in no shape to drive. Jenny looked so good, I thought she was going to wake up at any minute. I cried and cried. Kerry and I as well as our other close friends did a lot of crying. And then it happened. Her boyfriend walked up to Kerry and myself and started talking. I looked at his face and he didn’t have a bruise or a scratch on him. I was fuming underneath at the service. I was fuming the whole time he was talking to us. I just wanted to hit him, I admit it. I was thinking, how could you let Jenny drive in icy conditions? Why weren’t you behind the wheel? Why did Jenny have to die instead of you? Why did you try to drive in that kind of weather? Why couldn’t you wait for the weather to be better before driving that far?
Then he proceeds to give Kerry and I some more news about the accident: Jenny’s driver’s door was hit BY A SEMI TRUCK! I couldn’t believe what I just heard. WHAT? ARE YOU SURE? OH GOD! Is what I first thought. Then I thought, I didn’t hear him correctly. Then the anger set in, again. A LOT of anger. For a short time I thought, why did Jenny have to die instead of you? I only told Kerry that I thought that. How can a semi truck hit the driver’s door and seriously injure the driver with life threatening injuries but the passenger escaped WITH NO INJURIES? I thought that was really unfair. Her boyfriend also told us that Jenny never regained conscious, she was hooked up to a lot of tubes, and wires. Just like in the movies. I can’t watch a movie with a scene like that any more. It makes me cry, cry a lot. I never got to say goodbye to Jenny in that hospital, and I still feel bad about that.
I almost had a nervous breakdown after Jenny’s death. It was so sudden, so unexpected, so surreal. And so unbelievable, I walked around numb for a real long time. It didn’t take much to make me cry either. There wasn’t a day at home that I didn’t cry for at least a half hour, usually more. You don’t think one of your closest friends is going to die only a year and a half after graduating from high school. I remember my mom told me that if I kept crying and acting the way I was, she was going to have to take me to a specialist. She was only 18. She had her whole life ahead of her. She will never get married or have kids. She will never finish college. She will never go on more than one vacation. She will never come to my wedding. She will never come and visit me. She will never exchange Christmas or birthday cards with me in the mail. I cry every year for the last half of November after losing first my grandmother, then Jenny. November is a rough month for me to this day. Although it continues into December as well. What helps me is looking forward to Christmas and the birth of Our Savior, Jesus Christ. I really needed a church and church family during this devastating time, but I didn’t have that because my mom quit taking us to church when our Pastor retired. I was in either third or fourth grade when we stopped going to church.
There is another song that I cry to, and I cry to the WHOLE song: “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton. If you want to see me cry a river, play that song. EVERY TIME, to this day, that song still makes me cry. Man, if that doesn’t hit the nail on the head. That song pulls at the heart and soul. That song won Song of The Year or Best Rock Ballad at the Billboard Music Awards back in 1993. I cried when they announced that it won that award. Cried isn’t even close to what I did. I had a lake coming down my face out of my eye sockets. I watched every single rock/pop music awards in 1993 to see how many awards “Tears In Heaven” would win. Every time it won, I looked up at my ceiling and said, “This is for you Jenny.“ Because I was sure that Jenny was crying in heaven, missing her family and her friends, including me.
I could write a book about this time of my life, this tough time I went through. Actually, I could write a book about the events of the 1990s in my life, and the aftermath of each event. It started with Jenny’s death, which I believe is the most shocking event to happen to in my life. And it finally ended in April of 2001 when I got out of my domestically violent relationship. I moved three counties east of him and started anew. I started a whole new life for myself: a stranger in a new city, in the city of South Bend, Indiana.
Author: Regina Ann Thompson
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: I am a writer and photographer living in upstate South Carolina. I usually write long nonfiction stories or articles. I am working on writing shorter stories, between 500 and 700 words. I love writing and being a photographer. I bleed to write and have my camera in my hand (or in its camera bag beside me). I am a Hoosier transplant from South Bend, IN. When I am not writing on my laptop or notepads, you will see me parked alongside any road with my Canon DSLR camera in my hand. I also enjoy a variety of sports, gardening with flowers, hiking/walking, driving/traveling, hanging out with my husband and our two furry daughters (our two dog daughters), going to the Greenville Drive ballgames and hanging out with good friends. We are also heavily involved in our church, which is our second family.
