Poetry & Art

Chronically Waiting

by Mikayla Daniels • July 23, 2020

5 a.m.

Awake. Again.

I’m tired

Days run into each other

Did I eat anything this morning?

Is it even morning?

Did I take my meds?

All of them?

All of them.

The only thing that breaks up the days is appointments and tests.

Mostly it’s waiting

Waiting for the next test,

The next question,

The next call from the doctor.

Or maybe it’s the new specialist I’m waiting on,

Can’t remember anymore.

I’m so tired.

The pain…is constant.

Constant and growing.

Sometimes I reread my test results for clues

The internet has been less than helpful.

I’m at the mercy of medical magicians.

That’s what I wish they were,

Magicians who could take it all away.

Nothing has worked so far.

Enigma is not a word you want to hear from doctors treating you.

I’m so very tired of it all.

But I’ll keep waiting,

Waiting and hoping,

chronically.

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by Mikayla Daniels

Mikayla Daniels is an Alaskan born and raised writer and filmmaker. She earned her BA in film and her MFA in Screenwriting.
Spending much of her time as a writer in the film and entertainment business, she writes and is an on-camera host for KSPS Saturday Night Cinema, writer on the Australian series "Machete Girl, the Proxy War" that is currently in development, regular contributor to "The Journal of Screenwriting" and has written movie and episodic reviews for Netflixlife.com and Directed by Women.
Mikayla has worked on several short films as an actor or a First AD, including the recently released films "We are the Missing" and "Night of the Witch".
Check out her essay on Frederica Sagor Maas, in the book "When Women Wrote Hollywood" which was presented at a panel at the 2019 DPCC. In her free time she judges and screens for film festivals worldwide.

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