an Anxiety Attack
is
that overwhelming feeling.
i AM overwhelmed.
i literally cannot handle this.
it’s too much.
if you want my pseudo-science-hippie-spirituality-okay-kid-you’re-just-a-millennial explanation for a mental health problem.
it’s
that thing.
that’s been bothering you.
since you were little.
since you first were able to identify an emotion.
it’s been bothering you.
it’s a shame an anger a trauma a sadness a loss a need a lack.
a piece of glass in your side.
instead of digging it out.
and letting it bleed.
and stitching it up.
because that would be hard.
too hard i think.
instead of doing that work
you say
it’s fine.
it doesn’t hurt
that bad.
you put a bandage on it.
hide it.
ignore it.
every once in a while
(and “a while” seems to be more frequent these days)
you feel that glass.
the pain from it.
but you’re not ready.
to deal with it.
to figure it work it dig it out.
to solve it.
to make it go away.
if i don’t think about it
it’ll solve itself.
eventually.
right?
that thing.
you’ve ignored it too long and now it’s back for blood.
if you won’t listen to the little manageable pains
“i’ll make you listen”
it roars.
“i’ll make it unmanageable.”
“i’ll overwhelm you.”
“i’ll make you mine.”
that thing.
an Anxiety Attack
is.
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