Have you ever noticed how the loudest person in the room is the first person your eyes fall upon?
I’m not saying you want to give that person your attention. Hell, you might be doing your best to avoid the guy in jean cargo shorts, who’s been arguing with his friends for the last ten minutes about how great Tom Brady is. But that person undeniably demands it from you.
Adulthood is like that. Fear is a lot like that. Anxiety is definitely like that. And our weaknesses, are that guy’s ex-girlfriend, who walks through the front door unannounced, and will be damned if her ex out does her.
But it’s always the person our eyes fall upon next that become our refuge. It’s our best friend laughing unapologetically about the entire pint of beer she spilled down her new dress, or our brother’s college roommate who shoots an unexpected sweet smile our way. It’s those people that we find a moment of peace in, and it’s those people that unknowingly remind us to come up for air.
Adulthood is the alarm clock that we never wanted to set. It awakens us, and makes us address those fears we hid under our childhood bed. It’s those same fears of feeling inadequate, alone, misunderstood, or the crippling anxiety of trying to maintain our status as head of the class. Adulthood is being forced to navigate new oceans, when we just figured out how to put our life vest on.
Every generation has entered into adulthood differently, but for millennials, its truly unchartered waters. Our generation was raised to filter our insecurities, question everyone and everything, and in return we blamed those who raised us for our problems.
But you know what? I’m calling bullshit on all of it. Every single bit of it.
Our parent’s generation had the luxury of dipping their toe into the deep end, but our grandparent’s generation was just grateful for a day at the pool. So, we no longer have the option of sitting on the shore, scared that we might capsize, blaming others for our inability to properly prepare for the voyage. Our only option is to embrace the raging sea, and if we’re lucky enough, we might snap a few cool pictures along the way.
But before I get ahead of myself, I get it. Adulthood is hard. Adulthood in 2017 is brutal. Steering clear of discussing our current political climate, the future still holds some scary shit. Finding a job is a nightmare. Finding a job in our desired field, that pays a living wage with health insurance benefits; well we might as well be reaching for the stars. Curating a meaningful relationship with someone first requires a month long crusade of getting the person sitting across from you to make eye contact. And the idea of owning a home one-day is about as unrealistic and idyllic as getting through a family Thanksgiving without one of your relatives asking why you blocked them on social media.
We all want to be chosen. We all want to be esteemed. We all want the lives our parents and educators told us we could have if we did “the things.” You know “the things.” The work hard, get good grades, join a few clubs, volunteer, get into a good college, graduate in under six years, meet a nice guy or girl, and then the shiny revolving door of opportunities will begin to open. But then reality sunk in and instead of having doors open for us, we found ourselves opening up those old boxes of new fears and insecurities in our childhood bedrooms, next to the box of 35 sweatshirts we somehow accumulated.
And the harsh reality for us is that this is the hand we’ve been dealt. Does it suck? Absolutely. Is it unfair? Sure. But our only option it to play the hell out of that hand. And for many of us that means taking the only job we can find. For many of us that means becoming a full time nanny for two years, and working countless unpaid internships, until one of them turns into a part-time job, that eventually leads to a full-time gig that doesn’t completely suck. For many of us that means thanking our lucky stars that our parents are kind enough to keep us on their health insurance plan and let us move back home until we figure out our lives, or just start.
So, instead of gliding up to that revolving door of opportunities, we are going to be the generation that can say, we drove around that building three times in the pouring rain, parallel parked on some side street, crossed four lanes of traffic in that pair of shoes we hadn’t worn since that God-forsaken presentation on Russian literature in college, and hope our resume tucked inside our coat pocket, managed to stay dry. And then we have to be the generation that says we banged on that back door until it fell down and they had no option but to let us in. We have to be the generation that saves ourselves.
So, find your refuge. Find that smiling friend in the crowded room that reminds you, in the end it’s going to be okay, even if in this exact moment, you really don’t think it ever will be. Find what makes you come up for air, and hold onto it as tight as possible.
If writing gives you life, write like a motherfucker. If music makes you feel alive, play like a motherfucker. If crunching numbers in a corner office gives you the greatest rush, chase that rush, tackle the hell out of it, and crunch numbers like a motherfucker. Adulthood is unchartered waters, so strap on your life vest the best you know how, and when you’re inevitably thrown under, know there’s so many of us right there with you. There is no glory, except straight through your story, so embrace those dark moments, and know the shore is ahead.
Author: Lauryn Higgins
Author Email: [email protected]
What category best describes your article: Spirituality and Self-help
Author Bio: Lauryn Higgins is a public relations associate in the city of Asheville, NC, where she helps local and national companies showcase their product using various social and media platforms. She is currently a candidate for her Masters in Journalism and Mass Communication at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Link to social media or website: http://laurynhiggins.com
