I was an extreme dieter and over exerciser for ten years. During this time my priorities were pretty obvious; my looks, workouts, special meals and weigh ins took precedent over just about everything else in my life. My self-worth came from how I looked, what the number on the scale read and if I was able to get to the gym. There were so many missed social events, quiet moments with family and adventures that I missed all because I thought I needed to look a certain way to be worthy.
This may seem extreme but if you’re a dieter you know that food and exercise can take over your head space and countless hours in the day.
Like most dieters, eventually I burned out. I had an insanely difficult time getting myself to the gym, to eat one more plain chicken breast or to stay away from the cookie jar. My weight was unstable and I felt my self-esteem and self-worth sway up and down right along with it. One evening I was doing up my laces to begin my scheduled workout and it dawned on me that this was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I sat there for a little while and gave myself a few quiet moments to think a little more deeply than I was used to. Instead of calories, carbs and muscle growth, my mind went to what I really wanted from life, was this who I was now? Just a thin girl that looked nice in her size 4 jeans? Did I want people to remember me and think, “She was really good at eating as few calories as possible. Her body’s relation to the gravitational pull of the earth created a low number on her bathroom scale”?
I know I had a deeper and more meaningful purpose within me but the menial everyday actions of trying to fit a societal mold of what I should look like had taken over for way too long.
I am so happy to tell you that I now live my deeper purpose and that is to help women ditch the diet mentality and find inner peace and self-love. I made this huge shift by assessing my priorities. While I was sitting there dreading that workout I was able to ask myself what I truly wanted and what was actually important to me. Family, friends, love, achievement and adventure were what came up for me. I then worked diligently to figure out how I was going to escape the small life I was living and turn it into something epic and full of self-love.
Here’s how I did it:
1. I identified what I had been working so hard for for all those years.
A Slimmer Body
2. I asked myself WHY I wanted this and I kept diving deeper into each answer until I reached the ultimate purpose.
A slimmer body to be more beautiful, for men to be attracted to me, to find a partner, to be loved and feel secure, to be happy.
Turned out I didn’t want to be skinny, I just wanted to be happy.
3. I explored how I could reach my happiness goal without taking the weight loss route (because as we all know this doesn’t work anyways).
What makes me happy: time with family and friends, working at something I am passionate about, adventure and travel.
4. I aimed to include the things that made me happy in my everyday life.
I now spend most evenings with my husband (I found the love I was looking for after I started loving and accepting myself), I work as a body image coach helping women learn to ditch the diet, love themselves and create the life they want, and I take a few big trips each year.
Happiness is not something we can achieve; it is something we need to cultivate. Losing those last 10 pounds, getting that promotion or buying that new car will not bring you the happiness or inner peace you are looking for. Brainstorm your true priorities by going through this simple 4-point process and you can start changing your life today.
Author: Jenna Free
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Hi, I’m Jenna Free, fashion model turned body positive role model. I am now a body image coach and body positive personal trainer at You Ain’t Your Weight. I help women ditch the diet mentality and create a healthy life they love; one full of self-love and body peace.
Link to social media or website: http://www.youaintyourweight.com
