UNDERSTANDING TRUTHS AND WHEN THEY PROMISED FOREVER
We want to know the truth. We want people to be honest with us and to never be lied to. This desire to be aware completely of the true situation is what destroys us. The idea that truths are constant is what gives us a false perception of protection. Believing that the truth will always be so is what buries us under our blankets when it is not.
Our thoughts and actions in situations are often controlled by this concept of truth. The concept that the truth will always be as we see it now. Unfortunately, it is this misunderstanding of truth that affects us the most. We take in what other people say and promise as the everlasting and undeniable reality, and we survive on this with no time frame considered.
Whether they say that they love us, that they will support us or that they plan on spending their lives with us, we believe these things as to be true forever. This is where we go wrong. It’s important to always remember that truths are made for a reason and for a specific time and feeling. I always relate this to sonder, which is the realization that a person’s life is as vivid and complex as our own. We have to always remind ourselves and our fantasy driven minds that the other person’s life is changing just as fast as our own and so are their minds. Recognizing that our minds change continuously, and that what was true for us a year ago might not be true for us now, is important when applying permanence to somebody else’s truth. Our truths are as flexible and malleable as play-doh and taking this into consideration in our dark hours of ice cream, sad movies and replaying their ‘lies’ is important.
When they leave we are destroyed because they ‘lied’ and ‘mislead’ us with false words about being together until we’re old and wrinkly. When they told us they wanted to spend all this time with us in the future they were probably being completely honest and truthful. It could absolutely have been their reality in that moment or at that time that they planned on spending their lives with us. This realization will prevent a lot of heartbreak and save us from dissecting the relationship for examination until we don’t even recognize it anymore.
Truths change. They evolve and grow and alter with our life experiences. It is not that they lied and that they were dishonest with us when they told us forever, it is just that it is now no longer their reality – even though it was when they said it. We have to try understand and remind ourselves that people say and do things that may change in the future, but it does not mean that they weren’t being completely genuine with us at the time.
So instead of shouting betrayal at our phones when they post on Instagram or Facebook, we will remember that: that night when they promised us forever it was just a different time with a different truth – and maybe in parallel universe that truth lasted a little bit longer, but in this universe it has grown into something new.
Author: Caity Lynch
Your Bio: Caity Lynch is a nineteen year old fairy from sunny South Africa studying to be a designer. Between her main priorities of drinking tea and sleeping she designates her time to illustrating, writing and studying.
Link to your social media or website: https://www.instagram.com/caitlynchh/
