I’m not drowning,
not like I was.
The sadness
only comes in waves now,
and when it does,
depression splashes over me
leaving the bitter taste of
saltwater in my mouth
the bitter taste of guilt
for asking anyone to love me
when I’m like this-
daring to dive in
without a life jacket,
not screaming loud enough
for the lifeguard to hear me,
not having the strength
to lift my arms above the waves
or tread the water
to the shallow end
where my feet can finally touch the sand.
But,
I’m not downing this time
–I’m learning to swim
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