I’ll pay a debt to you.
I pay with bruises, with blood
I pay with black eyes, broken bones
I pay with pills, with hospital tags.
I’ll pay with my life.
All nineteen years, eleven months and twenty-two days.
I can’t forget you,
And trust I have tried.
I know your ocean hands,
They push me away,
And they pull me back in.
A torturous tide.
And I know your laugh, your voice,
It rings through my ribcage
Like a storm trapped in a wind chime.
I know your desert eyes,
They warm me in the light,
Freeze me in the dark.
But I,
In my absinthe dreams
I will pick stars from the sky
And hand them down to you,
Regardless of
What you’ve done.
So stare me down,
With those desert eyes.
Numb my broken bones
With their cold,
And if you make me blind,
Maybe they’ll still be beautiful.
So strike me again,
With those ocean hands
Let me breathe saltwater.
Smother my screams and my tears,
And take my life,
All nineteen years, eleven months and twenty-two days.
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