We are living difficult times, where fear, anxiety and sadness seem to take over ourselves a time of uncertainty, and it’s perfectly understandable how hard it can be to be okay with uncertainty; and let things unfold on their time and feel less overwhelmed by it.
We find it difficult to accept that we don’t have all the answers all the time.
Sometimes it’s better to know for sure about a negative outcome than to deal with uncertainty.
One of the tools that can help us cope with uncertainty, anxiety or fear is self-regulation, which is a very important tool to develop. Self-regulation is the ability to direct your thoughts, emotions and behaviors; a lot of us live reactively like we don’t have any choice. We are not regulating ourselves, we are not empowered in the process of helping to regulate ourselves.
To direct our thoughts, emotions and behaviors, first we have to practice conscious awareness. In this case, recognizing that when things feel uncertain, we are scared and stressed, and it’s perfectly normal. We don’t need to judge ourselves for feeling this way.
Instead we could actually do something to look after ourselves, something that will calm us down and center us like: practicing belly breathing 5 or 10 minutes. This act relaxes the nervous system and allows you to feel grounded; noticing your body and your sensations in a non-reactive way — accepting what is.
Another practice could be journaling your feelings and emotions. It eases the draining effects of anxiety and restores balance and clear thinking. Uncertain times make us believe they will last forever. It’s an error.
Knowing what not to think about. What to ignore and not to do.
It’s your first and most important job.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
If we want good output, we have to watch over the imputes. This will take discipline. It will not be easy, but it’s worth it.
Embrace uncertainty
Uncertainty is something that we will have to live for all of our lives. It’s the most certain thing we have, And because of that, it’s important to start developing a “relationship” with it, changing your perception and becoming more open-minded about uncertainty and embrace it. Yes, it may feel uncomfortable, outside of your comfort zone, but I believe it’s something important to learn.
Sometimes we have this idea that we have no capacity to deal with bad things. But it’s not true. We are stronger than we know, we can use the Stoicism practice of imagining the worst-case scenario; what’s the worst thing that could happen and see how many solutions we can bring to ourselves.
It’s important to ask ourselves what’s the best outcome an uncertain situation might be.
We can plan and prepare for becoming used to the feeling of not knowing, and becoming used to change.
I understand that it is “easy” to be great when everything is fine, but we have to learn to be strong and have a sense of hope in the worst times. Not giving into emotions, and worrying about things that are beyond our control. Because if we can control something, we must put the action in it and follow the path to make things better.
We should have a clear sense of what we can change and what we can’t. Which in turn will allow us to resist giving into negative emotions.
Let’s appreciate what we have, and the things we can do here at the moment and reflect on the normality of the impermanence of the things around us.
The things we love are like the leaves of a tree. They can fall at any moment with a gust of wind.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Changes in the world around us are not accidental, but rather form part of the essence of the universe.
We should never forget that everything we have, and all the people we love (even us) will disappear at some point. We have to keep this in mind without giving in to pessimism.
Being aware of impermanence does not have to make us sad. It should help us love the present moment and those who surround us.
This moment exists only now and won’t come again, so let’s use this moment to nurture ourselves, read inspiring books, talk to our friends, explore our hobbies and analyze and create interesting projects. Because in life there are certain things over which we have no control, like the passage of time and the ephemeral nature of the world around us.
Build Anti-fragility
Anti-fragility it’s a concept that the author Nassim Nicholas explain: anti-fragility applies to things that gain from disorder, in this case, people, things and organizations. When harmed, they are beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same, the anti-fragile gets better; they get stronger when harmed.
In life, we slip into a comfort zone. But the unexpected always happens, sooner or later, so it’s important to adopt an anti-fragile attitude. Not fearing adversity because each setback is an opportunity for growth, we will find a way to get stronger and learn from every situation.
Applying the anti-fragility method in your daily lives
One good way to incorporate anti-fragility into our daily life, is by questioning what makes us fragile. Certain people? Things? Habits? Foods? Thoughts? What makes us feel vulnerable so we can get rid of the things that make you fragile?
Good riddance goals can have an even bigger impact on our lives.
An example of activities that can make us fragile is:
- Entertaining toxic people in our lives.
- Spending too much time on social media.
- Comparing ourselves to others.
- Eating in a non-healthy way.
- Being a people pleaser.
- Being a controller instead of focusing on our lives.
- Staying in relationships that bring needless drama into our lives.
And to finish, I leave us with a quote to reflect on from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
Trust no future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead past bury its dead!
Act, — act in the living present!
Hearth within, and God o’erhead!
