spent the morning depicting cognitive distortions from grief
i’m tired of holding my own weight today
i cried for three hours
and stopped when i punched my own thigh
it was when my poetry professor told me he needed my work to break his heart
i saw the band-aids i was putting on everything
i’m scared of being left because i’m sad
because
i just feel, a lot
i fear someone will forget i am resilient
i need to feel to let go
i need to feel to do anything
and it’s okay
the weight isn’t a heavy load to me
it is breath, water
and i fear someone will forget i am resilient
i cut myself off with band-aids so nobody leaves me
i’m afraid they won’t be able to carry the weight
while i may be sad, and weightless
i fear someone will forget i am resilient
and the weight isn’t a heavy load to me
it’s what it is like to simply be alive
