Question:
Have I been assaulted enough to be considered a survivor?
Or is it just insult to injury on top of injury on top of every time she asks me if I would “still” tell her if something like this were to happen to me
Something like hands being stuck in places they shouldn’t have been
learning from someone other than the tooth fairy what to do with negative amounts of teeth
getting in trouble for playing pretend with the wrong person
The insult to injury
I laugh as if her asking who stole the cookie from the cookie jar was foolery
- Like I laugh at her calling another male she chose over me a parental figure
She reminds me that I don’t have enough money to add to the swear jar
I am reminded of four year old me not having enough money to add to the swear jar
when I had taken none out to begin with
Pleading with her “I am telling you my truth”
It’s what he said, too, as he settled on the fact that legal meant nothing but the subtraction of a three year jail sentence,
and everything he hadn’t considered that a six year difference would mean
What can a six year old teach a four year old about how much adults can ruin in five years and can’t fix?
She cannot fix a relationship that started off on the wrong foot so she overcompensates hoping to stifle out the complaints
But I have already learned to heave through asthmatic lungs my affection for everyone except
And in anyway else that spares my body discomfort, keep my arms and hands preoccupied with picking up every “I’m sorry” that falls from between my teeth
I guess they are tired of dealing in negatives
So they use them to reinvest in some sort of self worth [dignity] their own swear jar
I said “I’m sorry.”
Like I had a single thing to do with it.
Like I was in control.
I must’ve forgotten how helpless it is to be a gullible child
But you not being on my team,
I will forever remember that.
If you liked this poem, be sure to check out: #Keytoo
