If someone told me a decade ago that I would be diagnosed with anxiety and depression in my early twenties, I would’ve died of laughter and proceeded to convince myself I’m living my best life. Attempting to readjust to certain qualities of my life that I couldn’t necessarily fix overnight. Trying to fit into the unbelievably high standards society had in store for me. Little did I know, the most minuscule stressors of daily life would be one of the biggest factors leading to my downfall. Everything from crappy eating habits and forcefully working on being more sociable to familial complications and a serious case of middle child syndrome, etc. Seems like nothing on paper, but to your mental health, it could mean the world.
Over time the pressure to exist became unbearable. One day I woke up without a will to live and a ridiculous amount of pressure on my shoulders because nothing felt right. I just felt defeated. I’m here to beg you to ignore that devilish accomplice on your shoulder convincing you to see the worst in yourself.
What can be done to help individuals suffering from these mental illnesses?
Personally, I’ve always felt the root of the issue is our lack of self-love. Which is v-hard to work on, especially in our childhood stages. I think there should be a mental wellness course in high schools to prepare teens for the transition into adulthood. They should focus on how to best deal with some of the things we need to prepare for in life. Most importantly though, we should be teaching our children how to love themselves; to find ways to dedicate time to doing what truly makes them happy; that the drama they’re dealing with at that age will be so insignificant to their life as they grow older.
For those of us who dealt with these mental health disorders later in life, there is hope. Another great way to work on removing yourself from this rut is by literally forcing your brain to absorb positive affirmations and find the best solution in every situation. To accept that you were dealt a bad card in life in order to gain a newfound strength and to overcome certain obstacles is already a major accomplishment!
Although it may not be as simple as doing as believing that and may not justify every circumstance, it’s a big step in a positive direction. I suffer from anxiety and depression to this exact moment. I’m not certain that I will ever be free of it. But each day it becomes easier to deal with. The more life-ending moments don’t seem as toxic to my mental health because I’ve found ways to get out of those emotions.
Why am I like this?
It’s a question for the masses. Doctors are still trying to determine the cause of various mental health disorders. It could be a multitude of things ranging from our genetic makeup to some life-altering experiences.
What can be done once I’m ready to open up and find the help I deserve?
First and foremost do not feel intimidated to seek professional help, such as a psychologist or social worker. It can be an extremely beneficial tool for making such progress. Listen, there are even apps (such as Talkspace Online Therapy) nowadays willing to offer assistance to those of us in need. In your worst-case scenario, there is the suicide hotline. Though I personally would just call 9-1-1, if hotlines are your slice of cake 🍰, have at it.
How did you manage to dig yourself out of the endless heaps of pressure and land in such an optimistic place?
Truthfully, the purpose of creating this blog was originally to promote change within myself. I was at one of my lowest points in life and I needed an outlet; a place to release the passion I’d found when I was in a psychiatric ward feeling scared and alone. Then, I met a few individuals there who made such an impact on my life and helped me appreciate this one life I have and to live it to the fullest. I had returned to NY with family and with the novel YOU by Caroline Kepnes. I couldn’t even remember how to hold a conversation for longer than 30 seconds without getting emotional or feeling attacked. I buried myself in those pages and refused to make dog ears on the corners. I read until I slept and vice versa. I combined my passion for writing and my eagerness to change my attitude. I absorbed self-help books, optimism, and manifestation like a sponge and this was my final product. Dajha Diaries. I am happiest when I am here finding ways to help others. This is my passion. The one thing that rekindled the flame inside of me.
Now it’s your turn.
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