The Common Response
You may recognize this conversation:
”Hey, how’s it going?”
”Oh pretty good. You?”
”Good.”
I am guilty of it myself, but I have noticed this interaction at almost every store, coffee shop, or gas station I have been to. Everyone does it.
“The Common Response”
Small talk’, as it is often referred, is a such strange American thing. It usually occurs during the few moments of interaction we have with a Barista or our Coworker. The goal is to make things not awkward during an initial interaction by asking how they are, they say they are good, you are good too. But it is so awkward to me. Sound familiar?
I asked one of my coworkers a few days ago how his morning was going. He responded with, “Oh not too bad, yours?”
No eye contact. No intonations in his voice, his body away from me. I have always been intrigued by the way the human body subconsciously works and if you are fully engaged in a conversation with someone, your feet are usually directed at that individual. Just a fun fact.
Instead of responding with the small talk answer of “Good thanks”, I genuinely wanted to know how his morning went.
“Wait, not bad, as in not good or do you mean it’s bad but not terribly bad? How is your morning ACTUALLY going?”
I didn’t give the common response. The same mundane answer to a question that isn’t from a genuine place. You are just responding to respond and go about the rest of your day.
No true interaction.
No true connections.
No true conversation.
He turned around shocked almost that I wasn’t giving “that common response” and we actually had a legitimate conversation that had purpose and direction. (His feet and body posture were engaged).
Don’t give the common response. Genuinely ask about someone’s day. Mean it. Listen. Focus.
They might need it more than you.
