There’s always been this great divide amongst women that makes us feel we’re in competition with one another and that we cannot genuinely support each other. Whether our looks, success, and/or how we choose to live our lives, we have always had a tendency to question and measure up our own distinctive beauty and capabilities to see how they compare to another woman’s—and/or why they don’t. For instance, if we’re standing next to an exceptional woman, we feel compelled to show off how exceptional we are, too. Why are we internally wired this way? Is there some universal genetic strain in our DNA that causes this incredibly unhealthy and ridiculous behavior?
The term “sisterhood” is one that women will profess to be all about, but in actuality can be an extremely foreign concept; especially in today’s society where it’s popular to “appear” as if you’re all about women’s empowerment and being a feminist. However, appearances fade, and the truth is always brought forward to the light. So, constantly giving an Oscar-worthy performance on social media about how you’re all about uplifting your “fellow sisters” will eventually lead to your exposure for the fraud that you are. For example, a woman will publicly praise another woman for looking “stunning” in a dress that hugs her curves in all the right places, but then will seamlessly throw shade at said woman with a compliment such as, “You look stunning, girl. I wish I could be so bold to wear a dress that tight.” We are the heavyweight champions when it comes to giving a backhanded compliment or throwing direct shade at one another.
I, for one, have never been able to understand why women have this supreme innate ability to hate on and compare themselves against one another just because of incredibly superficial and obnoxious differences. A woman is not your enemy if she doesn’t act how you think she should act or live her life in a way you feel would be more appropriate. A woman who gets 100 more likes on her selfie than you do does not make you any less beautiful. A woman who is still figuring out her life and what she wants does not make you superior over her because you feel that you have your shit together. We are notorious for being so incredibly judgmental towards each other, and the root of that judgement we so lovingly throw stems from our own unhappiness with ourselves. We project our own inadequacies and flaws onto another woman because it’s easier to do that than to actually face our sh*t head-on, and do the necessary work to change for the better. It’s a very sad truth, but a truth nonetheless.
No one can ever be harder on a woman than another woman. We see every minor and major ugliness about ourselves that we automatically deem “unlovable” or “in need of being fixed.” Too often, however, we let our “ugliness” stay ugly and spread like cancer instead of trying to find ways to heal and grow. We allow what society says we should look and act like to determine how we view ourselves and go about living our lives. In turn, we allow these societally made ideas and standards help us compare and judge one another. I am here to tell you ladies that the time of being “Bitter A** Bettys” towards one another must end. We must stop disliking each other without valid cause. We must stop comparing ourselves and our journeys against one another’s. We must stop judging each other because of superficial reasons. More importantly, we must stop attacking one another and projecting our own deep-rooted insecurities onto one another to make ourselves feel good temporarily. Bringing down another woman does not make the “perfectly glorious crown” on your head shine brighter, sis.
God created women as divine beings. We are able to bring life into this world and nurture the growth of future generations in such immensely powerful ways that can shape our world for the better. Yet, instead of acknowledging and embracing all that we are and how our uniqueness is what makes us so powerful, we trifle over irrelevant issues that do absolutely nothing for our overall personal growth and evolution. We must learn how to truly embrace all that we are and accept all that makes us phenomenally unique. There is so much we can learn from one another if we actually tried and had genuinely pure and raw conversations with each other. So let’s stop hash-tagging “sisterhood” and “women empowerment” for likes and wholeheartedly be all about what those words entail in real life.
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