I’ve used the same language all my life
Tapping keys on a keyboard
Or pushing a pen along the thin lines of loose leaf
Vocabularies and definitions shifting with age, experience, perspective
Pulling me under an ocean of language
I’ve been so hung up on this word
Change
Stuck to it as if it belongs to me
Change
As if the agency I’ve had in the past still applies in the present
Change
A way of copy/pasting what’s worked before
And blindly assuming it’s one size fits all
Verbs flutter, run, sprint, hurdle their way through my mind
I wonder what I can do
Fix
Hustle for
Prove
My stomach tightens and all action seems impossible
The same privileges as before
Need not apply
What if I’m not meant to
Change
But to
Endure
To survive, remain in existence
And stay
A word I’ve known without acknowledging
Using all of the other words
When one would suffice
Endure
The chair in the corner of the room
Existing so effortlessly
That it barely exists at all
Change
Got all of my attention
Filling up all the pages of notebooks
And the space in conversations
Manifest, magnetize, achieve
Like an obsessive broken record focused on that which is not in my possession
At the expense of what is
Patient persistence
Acknowledging the pain
While simultaneously releasing it
A practice rooted in the belief
That I will one day experience something else
Author: Diana Matthews
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Diana’s unrelenting passion for feminism and the empowerment of women and girls globally is the guiding force behind all she does. Most recently, Diana was the associate producer and distribution director for “Dream, Girl,” the documentary showcasing the stories of inspiring and ambitious female entrepreneurs. She is also a mentor for GIRLZ, FTW—an international mentoring organization that matches high school and college girls with female leaders. Born and raised in Calgary, Canada, Diana recently moved to New York City and now calls Brooklyn her home. She has a deep love for connecting with others and strong interests rooted in community development and mentorship.
Link to social media or website: Instagram @dianavoyage
