LOVE LETTER TO MYSELF
After Ocean Vuong/After Frank O’Hara/After Roger Reeves
Darling, don’t be afraid.
You have ended
so many times
only to begin again
in the morning.
Your pain is only
a burning reminder
that you have legs
that can carry you
through hell, and can
stand proudly in heaven.
Darling, are you listening?
The most beautiful parts
of your body are the parts
you had to grow again
after plucking them to put
in a bouquet for someone who
who did not have the capacity
to water them.
The man whose arms
were wide enough
to hold both you
and your shadow
were the same arms
that would tattoo
your pain in invisible
ink—so that you would
know it is there, staining
your skin, but no one else
could see it.
You would scrub and scrub
yourself raw at what looked
like your own skin—
and yet you still
asked for a second chance.
As if chance is something
he holds in his hands,
something you melt into,
something that will overflow
in his calloused fingers,
so that he has most of you
in his palm,
but enough to still
slip through his fingers.
Darling, you do not
need a chance.
Don’t be afraid,
the yelling is only
the sound of people
who do not know how
to love, so they are
trying to take it from you,
someone who is made of love.
Darling, get up.
The most wondrous
part of your journey
is where you will
end up, and remember
that baby steps are
still steps forward.
Here is the room
you are leaving behind—
memories of fights
and pain and what
you could have sworn
was love whistling
through you like the
tune of an old, forced
laugh. Can you see it?
You are one foot out the
door, and all you have to
do is take another
baby step.
Author: Hinnah Mian
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Hinnah is a 21-year-old poet who has previously published her work in literary journals like JUMP international journal of modern poetry, Blue Minaret, Califragile and HIKA. Her debut book of poetry is getting published summer 2018.
Link to social media or website: Instagram @hennapoetry
