I miss you… I miss you so much that I am literally crying over here on my bed as I write how everything is going with me. When moving on gets tough, I am still being reminded about how our love worked out before.
We were each other’s happiness. We were best friends who went to concerts and joked around with one another. You were the guy to make me laugh when I would get upset. You did everything you could to prove to me how special I was to you. But I didn’t see it. I admit, I was stubborn to let you express how you felt when I was either not interested or not ready.
There were so many factors that made our first relationship a disaster.
We were young.
We were in high school.
We were each other’s first “love”.
We were always together.
When you felt that you had no support, I was there for you.
In times when I felt like I couldn’t find myself and couldn’t find confidence, you were there to help me get past it and simply say “Who cares what others think about you.”
But we didn’t make it.
You were heart broken.
I was sorry.
Time passes. I was in college and you were working towards your career.
When moving on gets tough, I am reminded of how we met. We caught up at a restaurant where we talked for hours about how we were. Updating each other what’s new and what had happened in our lives. It was a great feeling. That feeling of familiarity and comfort you get when you see your best friend again after months of not communicating. We thought we were ready to get back together again. We talked about starting over and changing our ways. And I fell right back into your arms again. Hoping for a new direction, new change, and new relationship.
It was going great. I became a better girlfriend and person for you and you became the successful hard working guy that I saw potential in. You gained independence and did everything you could to make your plans and our plans work. We became inseparable.
After a couple months in, our communication wasn’t as strong.
Our differences still didn’t mesh well with each other no matter how hard we compromised with our individuality.
People got involved.
Lying got involved.
Trust issues got involved.
I was heartbroken.
You were sorry.
I hate it so much – us not being together. I don’t have you talking to me like you used to. I don’t receive good morning texts or late night phone calls after you get off of work. I don’t get that vibe of you being interested in me anymore. But that’s okay. I want you to be happy and I want to be happy too. It’s still hard to move on when we had so much history. Even though we ended it on good terms as friends, I still think about you so much and I’m not sure how long I’ll be feeling this way.
So when moving on gets tough, the only thing I can do is express it through tears or on paper where my mind does most of the talking and the reminiscing. This is where time becomes a good healer. I need to learn to accept and regain hope for something or someone better for me and for you.
Author: Della Mangangey
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: She is 19 and is majoring in marketing. Her goal is to become a fashion retail buyer and to spread awareness about fashion and sustainability. She makes bracelets in her free time, writes food reviews, and reads books. Just like every Harness contributor, her feelings and thoughts are poured into here for all the world to understand so that no matter what situation we are going through, we relate to each other in some meaning and we are always here for each other.
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