We used to spend all night talking, until 3:30 am, laughing, learning, getting off the phone feeling the outline of you next to me.
3,000 miles felt like 1 mile away. You only ever felt like a subway stop away.
A mishandled situation, testing my strength and as a consequence, your compassion, as 1 mile begins to feel like 10, which begins to feel like 200. Miscommunication and lack of understanding turn into packed bags, slammed doors, and broken hearts. Where is my strength? Your compassion is calling for her; 200 miles begins to feel like 3,000 miles.
3:30 am talks turn into puffy eyes, burning chests, pained words between two people caught up in their own feelings. My agitation ignites your heartache. Your anger fuels my anxiety.
A small flame getting closer and closer to the gasoline.
Apologies attempt to extinguish it. It’s temporarily contained. But we’re 4,000 miles away.
The smoke too thick for real honesty and compassion. The flame cackles and is hotter and thicker than ever.
I hide in the smoke and you try to pull me out. You get lost trying to find me and we’re both calling out for each other
You’re out of my sight but you’re in my mind more than ever
The smoke fills our lungs and we’re now 5,000 miles away. 3:30 am talks turn into broken hearts, tear stained cheeks, and the hatred of being so far away from each other.
You weave through the heavy air with your heart in your hand. Throwing your pride out and pouring your love on the flame.
I first react in fear. I back away. Afraid of the heartache I ignited inside of you I can’t fully see you reaching out to me.
Choking to meet you halfway. Fumbling through my vulnerability in the midst of the flames.
Overwhelmed with emotions, I can’t see or think straight.
You have to see straight.
Show up. Unpack your bags. Pour your heart out to him.
It’s the only way.
Where is my compassion? Stop hiding. Take his hand. The hand that takes your breath away.
The hand that makes you feel calm. Reach for his arms. His open heart.
Two hearts, burning in this flame together. We are so much better together.
Two hearts, when beating side by side become more powerful than anything.
A safe space is aching to be created. Let it be created.
Stop running; it’s long overdue.
Unpack your bags. Let him make a home in the nape of your neck. In your arms. In your compassion.
We are in this together.
Two hearts working together is the only way.
I am here with open arms.
With my strength
With the drive you deserve
Conviction behind the apology extinguishes the flames.
My honesty and feelings clear the smoke
My heart craving you forever. My chest burning with a love so strong that my body can never fully ever contain it.
5,000 miles feels like 3,000;
Feels like 200;
Feels like 1.
Until we are in the same bed again, bodies so intertwined we are fully one.
3:30 am talks become two souls finding their way back to each other.
Never giving up
My person. My present, my future, my always.
