You know it well –
the hot shame of rejection
Your vision begins to blur
you’re holding it together
your voice barely shakes
you can play it off
We have different expectations
you never asked me!
did you ever ask?
no one checks in one you
But it’s welling up inside you
here we are again
unloved, uncared for
without a thought
Your cheeks begin to burn
you can’t focus your eyes
your worry your lips,
willing away the flood of emotions
they leak out of your eyes anyway
It’s not that you can’t handle the end
it’s that everything this last week feels like a lie
the kindnesses feel false
the sentiments a slap
You even put on your lingerie tonight
it’s almost humiliating –
the change into your sweats
your dinner plans were canceled
your roommate orders you takeout
This shame is hot
it’s lonely
what happened to the strong woman you knew?
She’s drowning right now
she’s been screaming
she’s tired, forgive her
You feel stupid
you know you’re not
But more than ever,
once again you feel so alone
and you’ve been alone
and you were so happy for so long
alone
The strong woman doesn’t want it
to be alone anymore
she’s tired of being strong
just once
she wants someone to care about her too
You know it well, too
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