Every time I visited my grandparents in elementary school, my Nana would take me to Books-A-Million to pick out a book that she would buy me. I remember being 9 or so, walking down the aisles of beautiful covers, shelves towering over me, and finding the intricate cover of one of those “Witch Encylopedias” sitting at the endcap staring back at me. I picked up the massive book and lugged it over to my Nana, so absolutely enthralled with the drawings within and the secrets it held… and then being absolutely devastated when she told me that witchcraft was evil and the work of the devil. It’s something I never forget. I think about it time from time when I’m practicing now.
When we are young, we are so malleable. It’s the fear that my Nana enstated in me after telling me of the “evils” in magick that made me stray away for as long as I did but looking back, I guess I always knew I’d find my way. We are malleable as children to the beliefs of those around us, but also of our own selves and our callings and that is what helps shape us the most. Some of my favorite podcasts have all collected mentioned “witchy kid” stories, and little things that children too showing they are in tune with nature and their natural surroundings. For example, I had a big backyard when I was a kid, with a treehouse and not many trees, and on the other side of our fence was one of the busiest roads in town. I used to pick Bull Thistle Weeds (not the gigantic ones, thankfully) with the little pink flowers and mash them up in the treehouse, writing spells on the wood walls. I also used to just sit outside and sing into the wind and to the moon. Weird, right? But I felt so peaceful and at the time I didn’t recognize it but I was grounding. There are tons of other examples out there to read!
Now, understanding your energy helps you understand yourself better, especially those who have always kind of felt a little more lost than others (I feel you so hard on that if you resonate too.) Those who have been through trauma are going to be pulled hard towards the Old Ways and so will those who have magickal lineage too, but that’s not to you aren’t either. Everyone’s experience is different from the next. For me, it was the witchy kid things I would do outside, and it was also the dreams of sexual assault I had leading up to when it actually happened. That was the biggest synchronicity for me because, after the attack, the dream stopped occurring. You could hear the same thing over and over again and when you piece it together, realize that it’s something telling you it’s going to manifest in your future. You could look at a picture of a relative from the 1800’s and realize they’ve been visiting you in your dreams. No one knows what is a weird coincidence and a calling except for you, because it’s only meant to be understood by you!
I’m still working up the courage to talk about this and not feel crazy, and this piece is my first big jump out of the broom closet, and I hope it helps on your journey as it’s helping with mine. You don’t have to be naked in the middle of the woods to feel your power and feel grounded; some of the ladies I look up to the most are witches living in the city of Toronto, and their trees are the glittering skyscrapers that tell the stories of urban life. You don’t need to have all the books, all the oils, all the candles, and crystals, because those are just tools that you use to help boost your intentions to the next level. All you have to do is recognize it and start somewhere. Anywhere! Just start learning about history, or your family, or the place you live, or the stars, or the spirit, or meditation! Just start and recognize yourself as the badass you are.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope this helps spark the beginning of your journey.
-A
