Real Stories

Spiritual Awakening: My Journey To Overcoming Depression And Achieve Real Self-Love

In August of 2005 I asked God to take my life. I was hit with an intense longing for meaning a glimmer of joy and some kind of relief. I wasn’t suicidal, I would not have harmed myself. But I did want out of my personal pain. In total despair, I sobbed and flung myself onto the bed; my body trembled intensely. What happened next was a mystical out of body, near-death-like experience where I thought God was answering my prayer to end my life.

My Near-Death-Like Experience was the end of the old me. I felt as though I’d melted into the bed and an immense feeling of inner peace overtook me. Shaking, crying, and desperately praying for relief, I suddenly saw and all-consuming, intense white light. Confused thinking the sun in Cannes couldn’t possibly get any brighter, I squinted, trying to find the source of the light. To my surprise it was coming from inside me. I felt myself being drawn into the light as my body seemed to disappear.

I no longer felt like me. I was aware of the concept of Andrea Pennington, but I felt more than she. I felt complete Oneness and absolute, pure love. I felt love for myself and all of existence! It was the most beautiful feeling of calm and peace. My struggle to feel better seemed to finally come a serene end. Though unseen, I sensed the presence of a non-physical loving being next to me. That awareness I gained caused an instantaneous shift in my entire existence.

From detached perspective I saw an overview of my entire life, in an instant. As it flashed before me, I understood how each of my choices led me to my depressive state. No explanations were needed. I simply knew the source of my overwhelming sense of misery. It was comforting to be free from the pain of life.

Several important lessons were shown to me that totally set me free, which I now share with you (and anyone who will listen) to give you the keys to your own freedom. There are several insights, which came with such clarity that they need to stand alone to be appreciated, so I will sprinkle them throughout this article. For now, these are a few realizations, or Truths, that bear knowing up front.

  1. From that expanded state of awareness, I realized that in life on Earth, there is a Spirit, Source energy, Love or pure consciousness, which inhabits all things. And I saw and experienced how I am one, united with that spirit or consciousness. In fact, no matter how separate we may feel at times, I saw that we are all one with that consciousness.
  2. Though I am one with all consciousness I have my own spirit of higher self that is aware of every minute of my present and each of my past lifetimes. It also knows the cause of my present, past and future troubles, and triumphs.
  3. In addition to my spirit, I also have my own life essence – a soul. The human soul is an accumulation of past experiences, karma and genetic information passed down through time. Each soul has particular tendencies and preference, which I call the “spiritual DNA.”
  4. My spirit is meant to be in control of my life as a human being. And as a co-creator of my life on earth, I am free to become what I choose – whether consciously or unconsciously. The earthly expression if my spiritual essence is totally of my choosing and that there is no “wrongness” in my choice. There is no God judging me, but my actions bear fruit and consequences. When I am ready, my spirit can even help me transcend or go beyond my past programming – both the programming I received during this lifetime, and even past lifetimes of soul programming and agreements.
  5. As my true self is spirit and as an offshoot of pure consciousness, I am totally lovable, perfect and complete. No matter the drama and trauma my soul has accumulated or endured – at our core we are all truly lovable.


During that out of body experience I realized that my whole life had been leading me to one major realization, something that our spirit knows all along: in order to enjoy a life of total wellness and happiness on earth we must become and express who we really are – not who our parents, society, or religion force us to be. None of our  past programming, life experience or trauma dictates, or limits who we are or who we can become.

Today I  work with the exclusive intention of helping other people liberate themselves from the mental anguish and suffering at not knowing who we truly are causes. It’s a beautiful community of sharing and support that is offered free for all who wish to join. Details are at realself.love.”


Discover more about Andrea…

Dr. Andrea Pennington is an integrative physician, acupuncturist, meditation teacher, publisher and best selling author. Andrea’s new book, I Love You, Me!, and bonus materials are available now at RealSelf.love. Check Andrea’s masterclasses here.


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