I was in an abusive relationship.
It’s hard for me to say because I’m a bad ass bitch but for the last year and a half I made myself small.
I was tormented emotionally,
Gaslighted,
No real peace.
But the day it got physical I left.
I can beat myself up for the time I gave him but I’d rather focus on how fast I got out.
I moved out in less than a week cutting all toxic ties
Because of my strength,
The love and support of my family and friends,
And honestly my privilege and financial means to do so.
I know it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve actually been through some shit.
But I did it.
And now I have no car, no permanent address, no dream job I moved to LA to pursue.
Just my gorgeous hot body and the guarantee that I am worth more.
I deserve more.
I choose myself.
My team of light has been waiting.
And I can’t forget that I’m somebody’s daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, and now inspiration.
Not a victim but a victor.
I actively chose to move in with someone I only knew for three months.
I knew he wasn’t the one when I was unpacking.
I made my bed, I slept in it, and then I set it on fire.
My only job now is to tell my truth.
Make more art.
Begin to heal.
So if you are in a situation that you know deep down isn’t right…
When you’re ready and only when you’re truly ready, I promise the universe will hold you up.
Everything you knew will change and the pain will drown you.
But you will rise up.
Start again.
You will never be the same but that’s the best part.
So cheers to my next first kiss,
And the sanctuary I will build,
And the ease of whatever is meant for me.
No more listing my accomplishments and declaring my goals for next year.
Let us all put down our phones and just soak up the people we will miss one day.
We are all pure light.
Trust your gut more.
Give yourself some credit.
Whatever you accomplished this year is enough.
You are a good person and I can’t wait to meet you.