It’s a recycled story. You love someone and they don’t love you back. In comes the clouds. You know what’s a damn shame? There are countless beautiful, independent, intelligent, fun and sexy people out there who refuse to give up on love – yet, they get pushed down over and over because people are so careless with words. Empty promises, selfish actions, wrong intentions, hurt after hurt, and time after time, I’ve seen so many flawless people so full of love (including myself) slowly turn jaded because of reckless people. All the time, I find myself having to remind my friends – who I know are literally gorgeous and I’m so jealous of their smarts – over and over that hurt people hurt people. It’s not them – it’s the jerks who left them that are losing. But I know that not everyone can quite put into words to their friends what they think of them and that everything is going to be okay. And I am seeing way too many awesome people get knocked down so I’m here to do a public service and give you that letter. The letter that your friend needs to read. I’m here to write a love letter to my gals and guys who just need to hear it right now. Tuck this away and save it for the inevitable rainy day, because this SH**T is the damn truth.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, is a carbon copy of you. What little things make you giggle, what quirks you have, your favorite foods, the music that makes your feet move, the movies that make your heart ache… you are a one-of-a-kind genuine and utterly unique being. And that’s so damn incredible! Have you ever thought of that? Sure, there’s people who you will share similarities with but ultimately, there will never ever be another just like you to grace this world – and that my friend makes you special. It makes you beautiful.
But you don’t feel special, do you? You see others more beautiful, don’t you? You think that because he doesn’t love you anymore that there’s something wrong with you. And because she cheated, you aren’t good enough. Right? Wrong. I’m here to tell you to cut that shit out. You are entitled to your hurt. Rejection hurts. But I’m here to tell you that just because another unique individual couldn’t find all the perfect ways that your pieces fit together, it doesn’t make you flawed. It makes you lucky. **Now hang with me here because I can literally feel the eye rolls on that one but listen. YOU ARE LUCKY. That person is leaving you to make space for your real person. YOUR PERSON. The one that thinks all your “flaws” are adorable and the one that notices things about you that you didn’t even notice yourself. See, you can’t have a toxic lover in the same world as your soul mate. Life and love are like math, but like a way more complicated math that even Good Will Hunting janitors can’t seem to conquer. Where there is darkness…there cannot be light. Where there is a toxic black hole of a human, there cannot be your saving-grace of a lover. And no, they will never ever be the same person (I’m looking at you ladies)! So, air out that dirty laundry, let them walk. They are missing out on someone who they didn’t deserve to begin with. You must take a deep breath and through the hurt just remember that now and finally now, YOUR person can come.
Sure, you’re over the games, right? You’ve probably been rejected and been on so many Bumble dates in the past that you are seriously considering figuring out how to be A-sexual. I’ve googled it… just don’t. You probably feel that in this moment you “literally can’t” handle another heartbreak. But I’m here to tell you that you can. Why do you doubt yourself like that? Why is it that the minute someone doesn’t return feelings for you in the way that you feel towards them – you immediately go to picking yourself apart? Beautiful… you are incredible. I can’t wait for you to see that. But it is an absolute rule. A broken record in fact… you CANNOT receive a healthy love until you learn to love yourself. You just can’t! Start having respect for yourself. Start loving yourself. Eat right, sleep 8 hours, walk your damn dog. Love on YOU. Self-respect is sexy. It’s like totally in this season. When you start to get some R-E-S-PECT then you will be ready to get that knee-buckling, heart-melting, all songs remind me of them kind of love.
So, for now, know that this is me reminding you of something your momma already knows… you are a badass who greatly has been underestimating yourself. You can do this – in fact you can literally do anything you set your mind to. Including getting over that selfish bastard with a wife and kids, that chick who left you for a guy with more money, and that dude who decided to choose his friends over you. Those people are just small characters in a super awesome story about someone who overcame the obstacles, found the superhero within themselves, and gave love a second shot. Think about it, no one loves a simple story. The action-packed ones are the best kind. Side note: don’t ever – EVER be embarrassed about how quickly you love. I’ve been told over and over, THAT is the modern hero. Someone who continuously chooses love when all they have been shown is hurt, is a mother effn’ hero. It takes strength to do that. So love those assholes who lost you, love your parents, love your besties, and more importantly love yourself. You got this – now go crush it.
Xoxox, me
